What makes literature ‘truly Canadian’? | The Journal

As a followup to my blog post on changing ideas about Canadian Literature, I happened across an article that articulates the same problematic questions I encountered when questioning a nationalized view of what constitutes ‘Canadian’ identity:

“What’s the novel all Canadians should read? That’s the question at the core of CBC’s Canada Reads competition.”

The problem with choosing one text to encompass a multitude of perspectives is that we limit our understanding of what it means to be ‘Canadian’ or to have a ‘Canadian’ experience. While a nationalistic view is unifying for citizens, it also overlooks the specific regional qualities that define the varying aspects of Canadian culture across the country. While Canadian authors should be celebrated and commended, the notion that one perspective or narrative is more ‘Canadian’ than another reinforces and privileges the problematic stereotypes.

Check out the article here: What makes literature ‘truly Canadian’? | The Journal

The Difference in Studying the Humanities: Then and Now

“A watery lexicon and syntax, a hydro logical approach could cultivate our capacity to scale down to the level of molecules and up to the level of oceans. It could also better attune our senses to the range of languages that traverse the human and nonhuman realms, enabling us to transition between the dialects of the domesticated, the wild, the feral. If I can learn to parse a salmon’s journey or a human sentence, then hopefully, I might be able to speak nearby a river, if I keenly listen to its shape shifting grammar, it’s stubborn flow despite human obstacles and impositions. These are the fluid literatures I believe we need to relearn and adapt for the future.”
(Rita Wong, “Untapping Watershed Mind”)

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One of the requirements in graduate school is to complete at least one course in each time period. Although this is sometimes a hindrance to others, I call it a blessing in disguise.

Last term, I spent four months learning about the humanist education system in Renaissance England. I more or less delved deep into the source texts of Shakespeare’s plays, and the contemporary plays to the Shakespearean canon, which tends to be our only general exposure to the Renaissance outside of English literary studies. My historical research thus involved learning about discipline in the grammar schools, such as physical beatings to enforce Latin recitations, in addition to consulting the humanist texts and pedagogy.

Traditionally, humanists look to the past for examples (as do most people since examples, well, come from… the past). Not only did they draw on classical texts and ideals, but they based their entire learning system on mimicking it. The Renaissance, after all, is a rebirth of the Classical time period. Humanist learning today, also looks to the past. Whether it is philosophy, classics, history, languages, etc., humanities students also study everything from “the greats,” however controversial that term may be (and I’m rolling my eyes at you if you’re glaring at my colloquial and likely offensive generalizing and prioritizing use of the term), to the contemporary works. But after eavesdropping on invigoratingly heated but professional conversations, as one does while casually sitting in a common room, I realized just how much the humanities values the historical past.

And now I switch to “humanities” in terms of English Literature.

English students are increasingly more interested in post-modern and contemporary literature and are foregoing the, shall we say, “traditional” canon. Though I’m sure we all love Beowulf, claim our favourite Shakespeare play is one that isn’t covered in high schools, can breakdown Robinson Crusoe in a few minutes, dream of or despise dancing daffodils (ALERT: I’M A WORDSWORTH FAN), and sing praises of T.S. Eliot, we can’t deny that it seems like the secret to luring students is expanding beyond the traditional canon and allowing ourselves to be intrigued by contemporary literature.

Looking forward or placing “too much” importance on the contemporary world in this way is so often condemned. While I’m not disregarding the importance of a sound foundation built from the traditional literary canon, I am arguing for the respect of contemporary issues embodied in contemporary literature. We are not in the Renaissance anymore. We can and should look to past texts the way humanists looked to classical texts, but we should not limit ourselves to them. There is undeniable value in making relevant contemporary conversations through literature and literary analysis.

This term, I’m studying permaculture and ecocriticism – not just in literature, but in visual arts, activism like guerrilla gardening, film, etc. Even if I’m not reading a “book” I’m reading criticism, and I’m applying literary analysis tools to these other forms of expression. I would not have the confidence or skills to do so without my strong literary background in, YES, THE TRADITIONAL CANON, but I am more intrigued by applying a humanist’s perspective to the world in which I currently live.

In the true humanities fashion, I look to the past for examples as the past drives my love of literature, but I look to the past, to the present and to the future, for the inspiration to drive my curiosity. Stop studying the humanities then; start studying the humanities now.

A little critical thinking, but it works (out).

Choosing courses seemed to be one of the most stressful periods of my undergraduate experience. Since I am completing a course-based Master’s program, I had the opportunity to… choose… courses… again.

However, unlike undergrad, I wasn’t choosing between American or Canadian Literature Survey courses, but between poetry of a small, regional area, or an ecocritical and national, fiction course. Having no experience studying Canadian Literature, this presented a dilemma with the standard questions: “How do I know if I’m going to be interested in something that specific at this early point in time?” Cue: Flashbacks to Grade Ten when we had to choose a university path at the tender, young age of 15 years old.

Well, I am here to tell you that it works out. I think that’s my current mantra, and I’m sure I will change my mind and panic another day, but so far, it works out. I never thought that I had an interest in Canadian Literature, for the sole fact that mainstream Canadian literature just doesn’t seem to align with my literary interests. However, in my fourth year of undergrad, I studied Canadian poetry and fiction of the Great War for a seminar class and boy, did that change my mind!

I ended up writing my graduate school thesis proposal about Canadian and children’s literature, and although I am not pursuing the thesis project in favour of taking more courses before I focus my research on one area, I remain fascinated by the intersections of K-12 pedagogy and Canadian children’s literature. After the seminar course on literature of the Great War, I also became interested in the construction of a national Canadian identity and how immigrant perspectives play into this identity. What I did not realize about this proposal was how narrow and optimistic my ideas of the “national Canadian identity” really were.

In a way, the propaganda literature convinced me, despite retrospectively reading the works 100 years later.

And my ideas of constructing a wonderful national identity- well, they lacked the voice of someone who was not afraid to challenge the optimistic ideal. I am confident these issues would have arisen early enough in my project to correct and modify the thesis of course, but I am happy I was able to gain perspective on these ideas simply by taking a course on regional Canadian poetry.

The first couple of weeks of my new Canadian poetry course consisted of studying Al Purdy, who was a poet that, to this day, is consistently used as an anthologized example of the Canadian national voice. Our discussions in class, informed by Mark Silverberg’s “The Can(adi)onization of Al Purdy,” revealed the limitations of considering a work through the checklist definitions of “Canadian” literature. By reading Purdy’s poetry through the lens of a nationalist perspective, nuances and subtleties of his poetry become lost in the midst of the wilderness landscape, survival, and self-deprecating voice (to name a few of Silverberg’s examples). We were rejecting the singularly traditional readings of Purdy as a nationalist example. That is to say, we were not rejecting Purdy as a Canadian poet, but table-fipping the elements of “Canadian identity” and pressing them against the regional and other aspects of the poetry.

With this renewed perspective, I was able to question what is it about national identity that is so appealing to me when in fact, it might not truly exist in a country so varied and dynamic. Sorry, I don’t have the answer. But it’s an interesting direction that I cannot ignore, especially considering my would-be research interests are sitting on the floor, having just been flipped off of a table.

What in the world does this have to do with choosing courses? It works out. I was hesitant to take this course, but after this feeling of excitement and enlightenment (I’m on my way to being the next Dalai Lama), I know things work out. Had I not taken this course, I never would have gained perspective in the exact opposite way my argument would have gone. *dramatic pause* Thanks, life.

It works out.

“You rock. Don’t ever change.”

…So says Lizzie McGuire, a favourite Disney channel teen from the hit TV-series, “Lizzie McGuire”. To me, written as a high school yearbook message, the phrase seems to capture the idea that you are great the way you are, and celebrates the high school you – GO YOU! To me, it encapsulates the age-old adage that you don’t have to change yourself for others, and to embrace yourself in all your flaws and talents.

This quote is so memorable, it tends to pop up in a lot of places, eliciting a smile, perhaps a small chuckle, from nostalgic past-Lizzie-lovers like me. But seeing it again started the spurs and whirls of the gears in my head, and now I’m wondering if it’s okay to change. In high school, you picked the courses for the following year in grade ten, courses that would ultimately decide if you had the prerequisite courses for applying to certain post-secondary programs. In high school, it was easy to have a plan. You didn’t have to change, because you had a plan.

In university, there was a checklist: fulfill these requirements, and choose one course from this category and this category and this category. Course X must be completed by the end of your second year. You could change programs, sure, but there was still a plan. You just had to change plans.

In graduate school, the MA English program is course-based (for me). You have to complete X courses and Y mandatory courses. You have more freedom to research and pursue ideas than you had in undergrad, but again, in the end, you followed a plan.

And if you don’t pursue a Ph.D., when you can follow a four year plan and typically runs into five or six years, then what’s your plan? You could change plans – don’t apply for a doctorate program, take a year off, dig yourself out of student debt, but can you change to not having a plan? Can you change your mind? If you’re a planner, like me, then it’s terrifying to think that you might change your mind. To even acknowledge that something you have worked towards for four years is not your dream anymore. To think that all of your volunteering, and extra-curricular activities, all of your conversations centred on this end goal, and this end goal is no longer a goal – are they useless? The obvious answer would be no, since you learned skills and developed traits that are applicable to a multitude of situations.

On a resumé, you are built to change, adapt quickly, and apply your skills in different fields. Technically, you can. But you can’t deny a nagging voice in your head wondering if it’s okay to change what you want to do with your life. To be a starving artist, or to put in the hours as an unpaid intern, and work your way through the field for ten years only to find you don’t enjoy the work? To pursue the childhood dream you have worked towards with a constant questioning if maybe you should be doing something else, or put the dream on hold and try out the “other thing”?

“You rock. Don’t ever change.” She’s right. I hope you don’t change. I hope you never lose the sense of curiosity and desire to dream. I hope you never change the all the great parts of yourself – yes, they are there, even when you think they’ve gotten buried under life’s cynicism and burdens. And I hope you do change. I hope you change your mind and change your plan and change the voice inside your head that says, “Don’t change.” I hope you know it’s okay to change your mind. I hope I remember it’s okay to change my mind.

I’m falling out of love with English, and I don’t know what to do.

*inhale*

I’m falling out of love with English, and I don’t know what to do.

In class I sit there, wondering, “If I were interested enough to find something useful to contribute to the conversation, would I enjoy it more?” Something I once found intuitive, something that was a part of me whether or not I knew it until the end of first year university, is slowing shrinking into a pea-sized part of my undergraduate past, instead of looming like an omnipotent part of my soul. Dramatic, I know. But is that what graduate studies does? Potentially make you fall out of love with a subject for which you used to be head over heels? I mean, if so, wow, I’m not even pursuing a doctorate and I’m only one month into my program.

*exhale*

I’m worried.

*inhale*

Falling out of love with English has so many repercussions. I’m still an advocate for the importance of studying English, and yet studying it for one more year is making me question why I chose to do so. I asked the dreaded question I anticipate as a future teacher: “Why are we in heated debates over fictional characters? THEY DO NOT EXIST.” I cringed as soon as the thought entered my head and stayed there for the duration of my class this week. “What a traitor, I am,” I thought. How could I ask the question that every English teacher would answer: “it matters.” How could I do this to English? I typed out the words that almost broke my heart via Facebook message: “I do not love English anymore.” And as a friend of mine so eloquently (and jokingly) replied, “English loves you, even if you do not love it.”

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Even though it was meant as a joke, the reply hit me hard. How does English still love me? How could English still love me? I committed almost every felony against my beloved subject. Albeit, I love English in a slightly different way than the stereotypical English student. I would rather go shopping for clothing than sit in a used bookstore and poetry. I would rather eat popcorn and watch “Pitch Perfect” than watch every film ever made of Jane Eyre. I don’t enjoy reading anymore, and I don’t enjoy writing anymore (I mean, it is a mentally strenuous task, so who really does enjoy essay writing in the moment, anyways?). So aside from all of that, I really did love English. I could still talk for hours on books I love, I think. But now that I try to in my head, I just cannot seem to conjure that passion I never knew I had until someone pointed it out to me.

What does it mean for English to love me? Does that mean I keep coming back to English because I know it will always be there for me? Is that what’s beautiful about books? You can revisit a story again and again, and it changes with you. All the knowledge and thoughts you have acquired between the last time you read the book, and your next time reading the book makes all of these strange connections you never knew existed when you revisit it. You develop inside jokes with the book. You love the characters a little more, or hate them a little more. Oh, there, I smiled. So I do love English still, at least a little bit. Maybe I love English like an old childhood friend. But childhood friends grow up and change too. But childhood friends don’t always stay friends. They grow apart. Is that what happened to English and I? Did we grow apart? English is supposed to be my thing. Who am I without it?

*exhale

*chest tightens*

*inhale*

Oh. There’s sadness. You know, like in “Inside Out.” Maybe we did grow apart. You know, it’s more than a childhood friend. It’s like a relationship you can feel slipping away. You thought you would grow old together. You thought you would always be in love with them. And then, all of a sudden, it stops, and makes you want to cry. And you want to stop it but you can’t and you don’t know how but you wish you could feel something, feel some kind of emotion that isn’t just nostalgia. But it’s not there.

Nothing’s there.

*exhale*

(Taking all suggestions for how to fall back in love with my English subject. Slightly urgent since I still have 10 months of the M.A. program to finish. Thanks.)

Finding your Big-Girl Pants: Part 1½

We’re now two weeks into classes and three weeks since Orientation started. Incase my online absence is suspiciously pointing towards two weeks of socializing and making new friends, need I remind the world of my social skills? Silly, world. Since my last post, my very optimistic sounding post, I have come face-to-face with more big-girl things. And since I like lists, here we go:

1. Leaky tap. Fill out a work order form for the apartment superintendent and hope that it gets fixed while panicking at the idea that you have just given someone permission to enter your apartment at some point, even when you are not home. *Hides laundry loonies*
2. Orange Juice. Since the local farmer’s market has been stocked with a wonderful surplus of choice in vegetables, fruit, and baked goods, I have somehow managed to avoid stepping foot in a grocery store for three weeks. The market does not, however, have orange juice. The one substance I require to function the way plants need carbon dioxide. Or humans and oxygen. You know. So I put on my big-girl pants and rode the bus to the shopping centre where I happily strolled through Loblaws, really buttoning up those big-girl pants when I had to ask for a rain check on the out-of-stock-on-sale-orange-juice. That’s what happens when you go to the grocery store after noon, people. Lesson: Wake up and get your groceries early. 
3. Laundry. I may have ironed my shirt in my last blog post, but I never actually did the whole washing machine/dryer routine. When you leave laundry for 3 weeks, and try to fit the whole dark load into one load, things do not get washed properly. I mean, of course I knew enough to separate darks and lights, and of course I did not leave a red sock in my white a-la-Rachel-Green, but I thought water in washing machines just penetrates all the clothing and soaks everything. Well, if you have three weeks of clothing, and a small washer in the laundry room of your apartment, it doesn’t. So do not try to stuff the washing machine. Also, invest in those Tide tablet things so that you don’t have to measure laundry detergent. Life gets better with those laundry tablet things.
4. Learn how to small-talk. Okay, so I’m expecting there will be another post on this at some point this year. This past week, I attended a faculty wine and cheese event, and had to endure the dreaded small talk with colleagues aka classmates, and professors aka those who assign you a grade that defines your academic progression. What did I expect? Painful, awkward, staring at the ceiling.
   What did I encounter? Slightly less painful, slightly less awkward, and I couldn’t tell you what the ceiling looked like. I received some great advice on what to wear for “business casual” before attending: “If you would TA in it, you can wear it.” Since it was a wine and cheese, and I enjoy wine but cannot tolerate alcohol well, I was that person who casually sipped and warmed my chilled white wine in my hands, which is a nice way of saying I pretended to drink it, subtly made half of my glass magically disappear, filled the half with water, and sipped my diluted now-warm chardonnay with effortless (what a lie) grace.
   What’s the point of diluting the wine? Why didn’t I just drink a non-alcoholic drink?
   There is no difference; I call it personal preference. There is absolutely no problem or judgment I expected for preferring a non-alcoholic drink. I honestly do enjoy wine, so I had no problem asking for white wine. I like the feel of wine glasses because in that superficial way, I feel more comfortable and classy with a wine glass. It all has to do with holding the wine glass itself, and just having a drink (be it alcoholic or non-alcoholic) in general so your hands have something to do, and nothing to do with what’s in the glass. If you feel confident you will be more confident. Fact. (Not proven, but you know.)
   Let’s put it this way. I once attended an alumni talk from a very successful graduate who talked about networking and socializing. Her #1 piece of advice for events? Get a drink (again, any drink, water, wine, etc.) and hold it. It makes you 90% (I made that number up) less awkward than you would be without a drink. It gives you an excuse to politely leave a conversation and “refill” or join another conversation along the way to maximize you networking. And it keeps you hydrated, since you know, socializing requires talking, which requires hydration. And I also made that last point up based on my recent experiences.

So, all that rambling basically meant: I had to take care of maintaining my apartment, I had to go to a real grocery store and do my own laundry, which takes a lot more time when you let it accumulate. I had to socialize in a professional setting and put to use the lesson I learned about professional socializing, that is, get a drink and (it doesn’t matter if it’s alcoholic or non-alcoholic), and mingle. All of which is a lot easier said than done. Which are things I am still working on. But I tried, and that’s why this post is a ½ step in the “Big-Girl Pants.” Like half a step when you’re walking. Like the running man. No, nevermind, not the running man. Just mid step.

Finding Your Big-Girl Pants: Part 1

Orientation Week.

Affectionately and unofficially known as the best week of your undergraduate experience, “O-Week” is typically synonymous with summer camp for frosh. Well grad students, I have news for you. Graduate school orientation is less faculty-team-building, and more pub nights with the few others in your program. Now, as someone who does not drink beer this tends to be a tad awkward since it becomes more obvious and is a general topic of conversation revisited when everyone orders another round of drinks except you. Anyways.

Walking around campus to the constant cheering and never-ending energy remains an exciting way to relive the O-Week experience without actually reliving it. At the same time, it also makes you feel old, despite my direct transition from undergrad to graduate school making me only one year older than the average oldest undergraduate student. And, as you might expect, with feeling old in a new city comes the old-people activities. Like laundry. And ironing. And cooking… Things that you might have learned as an 18 year old student living in residence, or as a 19 year old student living off-campus. Nevertheless, here I am in my twenties and sending snapchats of myself ironing to my friends to validate the fact that I now have my big-girl pants on.

And while my inventive set-up of a kitchen counter with a bed sheet tucked into the cupboard a-la-makeshift-ironing-board is all kinds of luxurious laundry tools, I can’t even take credit for the idea (thanks Mom!). However, I started to realize today, there were so many ways I could approach this Orientation Week:

1. Ambitiously, I wrote down all the general graduate student activities into my planner, alongside the program-specific activities, including the times and locations. I could go to all of these activities, which would result in 5 hours of sleep per night and a burnt-out Felicia by Sunday night.
2. I could ignore all of the activities, sit in my apartment, and watch Friends like it’s still the summer it feels like outside (cue 30 degree weather. Celsius, incase anyone thought that was sarcasm).
3. Sweat on my bike and rush to roughly 50% of the activities – rushing, since I still have not completely mastered time management while biking, and biking, since walking is overrated. Spend the remaining 50% of my time learning how to hand-signal at stop signs and traffic lights properly so as to avoid as much tippage as possible while on a moving bicycle with a full backpack.
4. Repeat Option #3, but also use the remaining 50% to complete big-girl activities. Cue: Mom’s voice telling me to iron that one shirt with wrinkles that I know I’ll wear soon.

Clearly, based on my anecdote about make-shift ironing boards I chose #4, but you must know that I fully considered all four of those options. Dear Reader, I washed my floors, too. Housekeeping is a skill I fully enjoy at the moment, because I can fully, one hundred percent justify that it is important to establish good housekeeping habits before getting into the depths of an MA. Right? Maybe. But hey, feeling like a big girl, singing that Pull-Ups song, “Mommy, wow! I’m a big kid now!” while dancing with the wet-wipe Swiffer is a productive use of my time. Those five readings for the first class next week can wait. Besides, when it comes time to do them, I’ll already have my big-girl pants on. (I hope.)

Initiation of The Queenstown Chronicles

So, I tried to start this off with some kind of “Hello!” but it seemed awfully cheery and somewhat redundant. So, I’ll just jump right in.

I’m Felicia. If you read my extremely elusively-titled page, “Sorry, who’s blog is this?” you will find a 190 word description of me, a disclaimer of sorts, and why I decided to start this blog.

Now, I’m starting to feel the need to explain this “Sorry, who’s blog is this?” page, since I tried to avoid too many parenthetical asides also known as commentary to my own soliloquies. I mean, I’m not trying to sound like Hamlet or anything.

1. “bacon-loving” is more than me simply telling you I love bacon more than all other foods. Bacon is a God-sent gift – like manna in the Bible (no, I’m not kidding). Bacon is a great example of “good things in moderation” a principle by which I was raised to stand. You see, to love bacon does not mean one wants to eat bacon at every meal; that would mean to give yourself a heart attack. Don’t do that. Bacon-loving means you appreciate and savour the thing that you truly enjoy. Bacon cheers me up. Bacon is very pretty (like, aesthetically speaking the different shades of pink, red, and off-white don’t clash and also don’t give off a Valentine’s Day vibe. So props to you, bacon). Bacon tastes good. Bacon is also salty and fatty and unhealthy. But that is A-OK; there are positives and negatives to all things we love, because nothing and no one is perfect.
2. See that bacon metaphor? I think I just explained “chonic metaphor-user.”
3. “tell-it-like-it-is” is quite self-explanatory. I hope I don’t insult your intelligence with #4, but I’m direct and assertive about things (I mean, most of the time).
4. “perilous” Note: sarcasm… I hope.
5. “MA in English Language and Literature”: If you haven’t picked up on my word vomit, my over-analytic tendencies or my excessive explanation of a metaphor by now, then I’m not sure if you have been paying attention. Excuses: I make connections in everything I see, do, read and think. I also assume my word count should hit 2500-3500, you know, the standard undergraduate paper word count minimum. I think it’s an English student thing.
6. “new city” stands for a new location for my physical presence, as well as the terrifying thought of living alone for the first time in my life. I’m making the ignorant assumption that most people experience this (and by this, I mean doing their own laundry, obviously) somewhere around the age of 18, but I am reluctantly crawling to this milestone in my 20’s.
7. “mediocre and exaggerated”; “equal parts practical sarcasm and wishful thinking”: Okay, so these contradicting statements pretty much describe me (or so I think). I also assume that the statements are self-explanatory (plus, I have almost surpassed the word count of a standard proposal and clearly this blog post is too long for a “Hello, this is my first post” kind of post). Oh, well. I am nothing if not thorough (positive thinking).

QED.